Things You Need To Learn That Are Not True

Napoleon wasn’t short he was 57 which at the time was taller than average the rumor that he was a teeny tiny man was just a piece of British War propaganda.

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It’s not true that humans only use ten percent of our brains no study has ever shown or even claimed that it’s just something people say for no reason.

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No matter what you’re drunk cousin Mark tells you there’s no such thing as cow tipping because cows sleep lying down.

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Touching baby birds doesn’t make their mothers reject them momma’s love their babies that’s right you could have saved that bird you saw when you were ten you let it die.

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George Washington didn’t have wooden teeth but actually were made of gold, lead, hippopotamus bones and donkey teeth.

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There is no medical reason to drink eight glasses of water a day.

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Stoners, undercover cops don’t have to tell you they’re cops just because you asked them. Cops are allowed to lie that’s not a thing.

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Vikings didn’t wear horns on their helmets and the Iron Maiden never existed it was a hoax that was made up in the 19th century.

 

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George Washington Carver didn’t invent peanut butter Thomas Crapper didn’t invent the toilet and Al Gore never claimed he invented the internet.

 

Albert Einstein didn’t fail high school math. The great wall of china is not visible from space yeah every astronaut looks and none of us have ever seen but hey why listen to us we’re only astronauts not to mention if you were ever thrown out of an airlock you wouldn’t explode in fact you can survive up to 30 seconds before you ran out of oxygen and lost consciousness.

So here’s a question if none of these things are true then why do we all believe them simple because they all tell good stories. It’s so comforting and fun to think that Albert Einstein sucked at math too. We’re that cops have to do what you say if you know the magic

 

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